UnBudgetFul Friends

The worst fate is not to be born hungry. Neither is it to be born rich. But to fall in the mid-way. No. I am not refering to the middle class. But a worser class.

They are apparently rich and happy but apparently only. They are rich but might not have a penny in hand. They might be the most popular yet most lonely. And what makes them the most hopeless is that, they would not be offered a help of a single penny. Atleast, people consider the poor in their charities. But this class that we are talking about would be isolated for what they seem to be.They struggle inside while others look on droolingly at their royal clothes. 

Marilyn Monroe might be the best and extreme example of this class. I am no Monroe yet we belong to that class, somehow.

When they calculate everything is perfectly allright about me. Mother is a doctor. Father is an Engineer. Aristocratic Family. Pretty Face. Class Topper. "Cute Personality", or so they said. Good Speaker. "And lots more", they said.

But do they know that I am an outcast in the Indian society as my mother is a divorced woman. Do they know my mom struggle to pay my college fees that amounts to 2 lakhs per year with her 5 lakh per annum salary? Do they know that we don't have a permanent residence and leads a nomadic life? While even the poorest of our place has some assets to say as an inheritance, we have nothing. Not because my family is poor but its easier to cheat a person when nobody is there to stand up for him.

Do they know that I don't have any father or anybody else to care for in this world other than my mom? Which implies that if I get lost in a strange land(like it happened once when the Cyclone hit Odisha), my mother can only look upto the sky and hope that God is a reality. There's no one else in our life. But everyone is there. My grandparents are alive and full of life. So, is my mom's 3 brothers and elder sister. Yet, all these things are labels that you could carry around. They are never alive for me or for my mother. If tomorrow I die, the entire world (who are already waiting for a chance) would shut the door on her face. And if I die, I would be lost in this world of over 7 billion strangers.

But why in the hell am I fretting about it now? Its just that in the midst of all these, I fell into the gang of my Richie friends.

No. Not like what you think. I did not befriend a couple flashy girls running in BMW cars with their BFs, alcohol and drugs. My friends are the sweet, frank, playful, fun guys.

Yet, they are too UnBudgetFul for me. I often try to focus in my academics and co-curricular activities to build a good resume and as much as possible, I don't go to the Cuttack city to avoid any expenditure.

But, my friends doesn't seem to understand any of this. They are planning to visit places for the holidays that is coming up in January. There's a long holiday from 23rd to 26th on which they are planning to visit Konark Temple, the beach etc:. This was the month when my mom had spent Rs. 50000/- on my second installment of fees. Moreover, she is buying a car too (Finally. I hope it would make her life easier). So I have zero budget to spend on anything. 

They never understand it. Today, itself they went to a Temple in an island nearby and my total cost was Rs.100/- even though I avoided any kind of expenditure over food, etc:. Now, they are persuading me for the Konark trip. I don't have any money for Konark Temple trip. If I say I can't come, that would lead to a big disappointment for them. It might even lead to a fight. I know its because they would feel bad to leave me alone in the Hostel and go for the picnic.They are saying everything they could. "You don't have to spend. We will spend for you. You can return us later." But how can I do that?

Moreover, this is not only about the money but also about my time and future. Holidays are the stress-relief tablets that you get in law schools to balance academics and co-curricular activities. It gives us more time to focus on much things. I would like to focus more on my academics and co-curricular activities so as to fetch a decent job to support my mom. Thats the only way I could give her some rest in life. 

No. But No one would understand it. My UnBudgetFul Friends? Hardly. Please, God. Help me.

Because in the end, what I am is -   Mother is a doctor. Father is an Engineer. Rich, Indeed. Aristocratic Family. Pretty Face. Class Topper. "Cute Personality", or so they said. Good Speaker."And lots more", they said.

They never understand how crippled I am.