A Roadtrip around the House

20th March,2012

The night in Kerala around 7 pm on 20th March 2012...This is my neighbour's tree...This tree is close to our fence and I love it so much...So, on 20th March, during power cut, I went out and clicked this photo while my mom was walking through the courtyard....

The Great Asoka

This is the flower of Asoka tree...The tree is in our neighbor's house...Around this time, it flowers a lot...
So , I clicked a photo of its flower...Its flower have got high medicinal value...My mom plucked few
of these flowers to make an ayurvedic wine...She is a filariasis patient and the ayurvedic wine, that she made by herself, keeps her alive and kicking...Thank You My lord...Get Well Soon Mom!!!

This is the Asoka Tree in our neighbor's house....Each part of this tree, starting from the roots
to its bark, have got high medicinal value.....Its bark is the chief component of Asokarishtam,
a famous Ayurvedic medicine, that treats all menstrual problems...That medicine is highly
effective..I personally, guarantee you ............:)

I don't Know if its a Crush......You Tell Me.....;)

(cont...of the previous blog- A big Apology to my Prince.).....

                     Well, let me tell the rest of the story of Mr.R.....He didn't leave me even after Madam slapped him on the face...Then, another incident happened....One day we had an extra class on Sanskrit...After the class, I was walking back to my house alone...On the way, I saw Achu and Reshu and they said to me that Mr.R has asked them where was my house and went forward.but they didn't say it..Gosh!!!!...It was indeed a scary moment......

                       I walked forward, praying that he may not be following me...I was wrong..He was waiting for me in the cycle...As soon as he saw me, he went forward....Again, when he saw me from distance, he went forward and would wait until I would appear...Sounds crazy right??/??...The crazy part hasn't reached yet....

                       As I reached the junction near my house, I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen..That was really a Relief...Thinking that he was not watching me atleast for now, I ran to my house..As soon as I turned to the side-road to my home I saw him following me, behind.....I was literally panicking now..."Has he gone insane?"..I thought....I passed by my home and kept on walking....On the side of the road, a group of men were watching us-  Me,visibly pancking and turning back each second to look if he is still behind me and He, would have given the image of a pervert following a young girl in his bicycle....Anyway, Mr.R went ahead of me...As he left, I quickly ran back to my home and peeked through the window..I saw him through the branches of trees, standing along with the gang of men..I felt something wrong.........
I was right....The next day, when I reached the class, I heard that Our Mr.R was Battered by that group of men......I didn't regret..Why should I, Huh???....Why ,in the first place, did he follow me, huh???...I really don't have any idea on why he came searching for my house...I can assure you that He's a decent fellow and won't do any bad things........But why????

                           Still that insane fellow didn't leave me alone...Now, my friends were very much in support of him..They wanted me to fall in love with him..Honestly, I didn't feel any love for him

                            Here is the part ,I hate the most....My sweet but insane friends started pairing us up...Started forcing me to talk with him...Ohh Yaaaa!!! I forgot to say....I never used to talk with him after I knew that he was in love with me...That disturbed my friends a lot...I admit I was wrong in ignoring him...Sorry :(  My friends were right but back then, I was too stubborn to change my decision upon anyone's advice..I did what I felt right and never swayed upon the criticisms of the world..It sometimes went wrong or better to say , it went wrong here....

                                Oh !! I again went beating the bush right??...okay let's get back to the topic...My friends suceeded to some extent..Maybe due to the excessive push from their side, Its true that I felt some kind of possessiveness for him...I still don't know if its a crush or something..You tell me because I'm still  doubtful...I feel possessive about him but deep down I don't feel anything ....So I resisted..Now they started feeling that I was in falling for him...I tried to tell them., "Noooooo"....but they won't understand......


                                Now, my friends started teasing me with his name and my school life turned out to be a disaster...I admit I am possessive about him but deep down I don't have any feelings for him...Now, that my close friends don't trust my words, I hated my school...So In 2009, as soon as mom got transfer , I took the opportunity to leave my school..Thats how I left My Best School............:(

                                 I don't know if you have already guessed it..I am nuts because I had so much true friends there, but I DIDN"T realise their value...DAMNED ME....!!!...I never got such an awesome school and friends after that....Anyway, last year, something happened...


                                  Remember, my friend Sru, from the last blog??? Well, Our Mr.R texted with me disguising himself as Sru...Sru's mobile was not in working condition, then...He had got my number from Sru's phone and messaged with me, saying that this was sru's(technically, his) new number...Finally,he revealed his identity after 2 months...He apologised for doing that....Ringed me up several times to apologise...I didn't attend any of his calls neither did I message him back...Finally This was his, (for the mean time), last message..."I am sorry ..Please forgive...and I am not in love with you...It was a foolishness from my part...I'm sorry..I won't disturb you any longer...Now please reply to this message atleast.......bye...study well"

                                  Honestly, that message did sting. I felt a lump in my heart...But I replied to him, "Well, you just saved your head from crushing by a train...Good boy...Bye Mr.R...Study Well u Too...Take care "... He replied,"Crazy reply...Yaa I'll bye"....................and then No Contacts....Until


                                   I went for the school reunion on September 7th...One of his friends Mr.G and Palli picked me up from the railway station....Honestly, I wished I could see him...Just see him....On the way to school, Mr.G said to Palli,"Do you think Mr.R would come?? He said yesturday that he wouldn't because he was having a leg pain.." I don't know if Mr.G broached that subject purposefully..I tried to put on a casual face though my mind prayed hard.."God!!!!! Please Let Him Be Here..I Want To See Him...Otherwise, This Whole Journey is a Waste....".......


                                   Guys, why he holds such a position in my heart..Maybe because I felt he truly loved me....Aaaaaahhhh! I don't know...I entered the school, and as I turned the corridor, I saw him looking at me from a distance...Now, that eyes spoke of love , I was sure....I looked away but he kept on looking ...Then, he went into some class...I saw some of my old pals...It was a good day...I'll blog about it later...okay??...Hmm..then, we entered into the class where he was sitting...Just then, Sru and Nayana, took photos with him but not with any other guys...I smiled but Inside of me, was filled with a sudden upsurge of possessiveness, anger.....I don't know how that came........I am doubtful whether they did it on purpose even.......For the first time, after 6 years , we talked...He said, "Hai." and we conversation began..I apologised to him for the olden silent days...I was amazed that he didn't hold any grudge towards me ....
..He sounded like a very good friend but not anything else..................................

                                  When that day came to an end, I was thinking ,"God!!! I'm soo possessive of him...Why is that sooo???.....Will I be Able to adjust when he finds another girlfriend.....Such a Stupid Thought........"............I went back home.....Cried a lot about that old awesome days........


                                    I don't feel anything for him...I know one thing and that is "He Is Not the One......I don't want him to be my Husband"............I don't feel anything special like, He's glamorous or attractive or anything........but I love to glance through his facebook profile ,each time I login (Well, Thats my hobby now...)..............


                                     One news is left,....."he has been and is still in love with me.."...Can you imagine??...Even after being so cruel and even after so many years.... A friend of mine said that to me...He's planning to propose me......My friends are busy for that occasion...(Psst...they don't know that I have learned it okay??....Its their big secret...Unfortunately , I know it...hahaha)....

I can't accept him as my boyfriend......I don't know why........
I have told you , my entire feelings...Now you say , why....Okay???.....
By the way , Sorry for making you nuts...with my crazy thoughts.......

A big Apology to My Prince......{biggest mistakes of my life}

I'm going to tell you the story about a Mr.R in my life...I wholly hate 2008 and 2009 because of that maybe..In other words, I hate my favorite school when I think of this issue.....also, I feel very sad and guilty..

              I was 13 and  joined in a new school...Life was going awwweeesom...I got a gang of everlasting buddies on my first day itself...Thats a good news though 13 is a so-called bad number....Anyway, my life was happy then..

              

              I remember seeing Mr.R for the first time...It was not a Bollywood film-like bumping into each other on the first day...Ooops sorry :( I'm not going to talk about my first crush or some other idiocy...Sorry for letting you down :( ...............hehe.............Chill buddy...Now if you are with me ...lets talk...

              So how I saw Mr.R right???...hmm...its is a faint but everlasting memory...He didn't came on the first day..He was absent for a few days...Finally our Great Prince showed himself..I was busy completing my notes..Then a young fair boy walked into the class..He didn't caught my eye or anything..but my mind laughed a bit when I saw the way he walked....(It is difficult to say how....but was surely awkward... Walking as if your one leg got a sprain or something.....).But the bundle of to-be -completed notes was maybe more attractive than him as it caught my attention.........

             Sru in my gang, was maintaining a really good friendship with him..and with his gang..that included Mr.G and Mr.A..Thats how we became friends...I was more close with Mr.G as he was really humorous and friendly...Me and Mr.R talked only 2 times if my memory is correct..The second time we talked???....I can't stop saying that it was really sweet...Me and Mr.R was standing in the balcony outside our class and chit-chatting...I still remember my mind saying , "Ohhh!!! he's really sweet!!!" ..After that short talk, I made my Goodbye-Gesture...Forever Maybe

              Next day, Mr.A in order to take revenge on Mr.R revealed that he was in love with me....I was totally shocked...My mind, still, I feel saying , "Gosh!!! I never felt he was in love with me....He was soo sane yesturday. "...Clearly insane today...right guys?????.......I didn't have any feelings for him, honestly...No attraction or anything.......I decided not to talk with him not because he did something wrong but just to drive him out of his infatuation...Visibly, he was not ready to leave..

                This day is indeed one of the worst decisions I have made in my life and I still regret about it...Guys...I was born in an aristocratic family and everybody in my hometown knew me and kept certain distance due to the superior-family-issue :P..This was the first school I was attending with people treating for what I was..Soo, at that time, I was totally ignorant about the bitches that could creep into your friend circle too..I thought friends would never back stab you....... 

                 One afternoon, the girl in the back bench poked me and said that Mr.R is writing my name in his hand..I saw him doing exactly that...How Idiotic?..I thought......Then, Miss P one of my best friends...{nooo....we didn't have much connections..only that she was in the same gang that I fell in}...angrily responded to me, "..This is not acceptable if he goes on doing this"....."Then what should I do??"..I asked her helplessly...."You should complain to the class teacher now"..said Miss P.."Do you think that will help it???"..I asked..."Of course"said she reassuringly....."But what do we say??"I asked her doubtfully....She asked me,"are you with me???..You just come with me and  I'll handle the rest.."..I felt like I should trust her...After all, she is my best friend..What wrong can she do to me??..She is trying to save me naa????......

 I didn't realise that I was going to make a big mistake...........

                       I went with her and met our class teacher...Madam, was teaching in a class...When she came out she asked us what's wrong??...Thats when I realised, "what am I going to say??..That a boy was in love with me Huh??..and he has gone all insane???..why am I complaining for that?? .."...But the enlightenment came too late for this Buddha ..I really wanted to run back to my class...I couldn't open my mouth though on one side Madam was getting more and more concerned seeing my silence and on the other side Miss P was pressing my hand and whispering on my ear on what I should say....I took few steps for running back to the class.....Enough with me maybe, Miss P even shocking me told ,"Mam , Mr.R is in love with her..and is disturbing her very much..He's even writing her name on his hand"....Just then, the last bell rang , Madam calmly assured,"I will take care of it".....Miss P reassured me as we went back to the class that mam would take care of it..I felt then, that everything will come back to normal..He would get rid of his feelings for me..Good for him and for me...Someway, I felt happy until I got back to my class.....

                          Sru and my other friends were waiting for me in the class....Mr.R had already seen me wandering through the higher secondary school's  corridor searching for Madam..He knew what was to follow and he had said that to sru tooo.,....Sru asked me in a stern voice , "did u complain to Madam???.."...I replied in a confident voice.."Yes..and she will take care of it"....Sru almost shouted out these words,"what did you do???...Madam is going to fire him tomorrow..thats certain..You don't know her ".....I stupidly replied,"Noo, she won't fire him..she will take care of it calmly".......I realised that it was stupid....Madam was going to fire him......Amazingly...Miss P was nowhere to be seen....... Was it her trick??? I don't know...

                             The next day.....I came to school with only one prayer..."Let Mam Not Fire Him.."..I didn't know that teachers would take it up so harshly...She called me in the morning..Again Miss P came with me and did the talking...Seeing her mood, I was quite sure that she would take this matter lightly and wisely..Then ,she sent us back and called Mr.R

To my astonishment, She did not fire him....BUT SLAPPED HIM......on the FACE itself......

                              I was surprised to hear this....In my whole life, I haven't encountered any such incident...Obviously, I handled my first one poorly or better to say, worst-ly....

                             I blame myself for believing every word Miss P uttered....I am the cruel one....I agree...Anyway, my friendships with Miss P strained..My friends didn't blame me too much neither did Mr.R or his friends.......They accepted my mistake....But our Prince, Mr.R didn't leave his love either...Our gang split-ed and the main reason was Miss P...No offence.....

                             This was one of my biggest mistake.....I'm sorry My Prince or Mr.R...and I know     sorry-ies won't change anything......

Yaaaaa....it didn't change anything...He didn't leave me even after that.........

I'll blog about it sooonnnn....about the insane days that followed.....In those days, maybe my Prince won my heart ???????maybe...hahaha

" Miched u a lot my dearooo....CUP..muaaaahhh!!!!"

This my coffee cup that mom bought from the shopkeepers who came for trade during the festival in the near-by temple
I used to have my cup until 8th standard...Mom couldn't buy me a coffee cup for a long time after that due to
financial tightness... Now I got one.....:)
Thats my recently shampooed hair, in the background...I wanted some individuality for the photo...

We used to make a bouquet for our God every week and places it before his picture
...This is the bouquet of this week...
Once my mom said, "I'm arranging flowers before my god every week
So, in return I want him to bloom flowers near my grave "
Crazy thought!!! but sometimes it may happen....If it does, I'll surely
blog it guyzzzzz......:)

My Mom Got a Heart Attack

My mom had a heart attack day before yesterday...I was not at home ..I had went to Mom's
Hospital to collect some money from Dr..Annett...When I came back I saw my
mom lying in the bed..She is fileriasis  patient..and due to the consumption of some
Ayurvedic Medicines , her cholesterol rose to 300..Since then, she was keeping
an emergency kit with medicines for heart attack..
Let's get back to the topic..She took the medicines as soon as she got an attack
We couldn't go to the hospital because we didn't have money...
She's back to work..but still she can't raise her hands or can't
take any weights ..Wondering what is in the cup??..Yaa , I gave her this
water while she was lying down..Its called KARIMKALI Water in Malayalam..I'm
sorry I don't Know its English...Mom is planning to conduct some health checks..
Well , everything depends on your Purse , right???? 

National INSECT of Kerala : MOSQUITOES

I hanged my skirt in the verandah for drying...Look at the number of
Mosquitoes resting on the TIP of the skirt..(so much on the Tip..:O).
God!!!!...Looks like Cochin is the hometown of all the mosquitos  in the world
What to do?? People are not keeping the streets clean..Nor is the
Government interested in being hygienic....Everyone is destroying this beautiful place:(
I Still,don't understand....Why are the Foreigners rushing to Kerala??....aaahhh!!!!!

a silent prayer

board exam is getting closer...I'm in 12th...Truthfully, I have prepared nothing...

I'm studying or its better to say trying to study my portions within  week....Its impossible..I can't concentrate on my studies for more than one hour..I wasn't brought up as a bookworm.. Neither was I pressurized to study everyday.....I studied by listening to the classes..Still I managed to become the top 5 in every school..{god knows how!!!!!!}

Nonetheless , I'm really sad guys....I had a rough childhood...So I couldn't nor anybody did encourage me in anything........

With much pain I'm writing this part...I was a Jack of all things but Master of None.......

Its toooo late...I regret for not being an ambitious person.....for wasting my talents....

but I couldn't do it...because of my Rough Childhood

I'm ending with a silent prayer....

Let my Children may not have a Fate like I Had!!!!!!!

my Christmas naughtiness

Yaaa.....My leg itself...I wore my anklets on this Christmas....
Hmmm.....Getting beauty conscious...I'm happy about it...
This is the first photo that I edited...
How's it?????

my farewell tree

It was under this tree that our Farewell function was conducted..on this Feb 29
..Being  in the
Lap of the nature when you finally say Goodbye to your school life...
Its Totally Different .....
Archana , my friend took this photo...She didn't take her finger out
of the button untill we got out of the school ...:)

the smallest moon of the century

This was a picture that I took in 2011...One day I was doing  my homeworks after reaching home. By 10.30 pm,  my friend Febin messaged me saying  " Today's moon is the smallest moon of the century "....
Then, it was a run for 'Click Click Click'......

how it happens to be dead

Something woke me up,

unusual the day it seemed,

my body refreshed as if Born Another Life

No yawning No drowsiness

Just a confusion in head

Unusual sounds haunted me

No chirping No humming,

an unusual wind that rang in my head

No headache from alcohol

Just a confusion in head

I looked beyond and beyond

Nothing other than lost space

a light body and a haunted mind

In the space an angelic space met me

The confusion soared through my head

Departure was it- she said

from the worldly life it seems

neither the tears welled up gain

nor the smile widened up again

neither the confusion in my head

I moved with her like a breeze

Knowing not what happens next

All I saw and felt in front 

Was different from my bedtime stories

Finally, I did know how it happens to be dead