Sunday, March 18, 2012

I don't Know if its a Crush......You Tell Me.....;)

(cont...of the previous blog- A big Apology to my Prince.).....

                     Well, let me tell the rest of the story of Mr.R.....He didn't leave me even after Madam slapped him on the face...Then, another incident happened....One day we had an extra class on Sanskrit...After the class, I was walking back to my house alone...On the way, I saw Achu and Reshu and they said to me that Mr.R has asked them where was my house and went forward.but they didn't say it..Gosh!!!!...It was indeed a scary moment......

                       I walked forward, praying that he may not be following me...I was wrong..He was waiting for me in the cycle...As soon as he saw me, he went forward....Again, when he saw me from distance, he went forward and would wait until I would appear...Sounds crazy right??/??...The crazy part hasn't reached yet....

                       As I reached the junction near my house, I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen..That was really a Relief...Thinking that he was not watching me atleast for now, I ran to my house..As soon as I turned to the side-road to my home I saw him following me, behind.....I was literally panicking now..."Has he gone insane?"..I thought....I passed by my home and kept on walking....On the side of the road, a group of men were watching us-  Me,visibly pancking and turning back each second to look if he is still behind me and He, would have given the image of a pervert following a young girl in his bicycle....Anyway, Mr.R went ahead of me...As he left, I quickly ran back to my home and peeked through the window..I saw him through the branches of trees, standing along with the gang of men..I felt something wrong.........
I was right....The next day, when I reached the class, I heard that Our Mr.R was Battered by that group of men......I didn't regret..Why should I, Huh???....Why ,in the first place, did he follow me, huh???...I really don't have any idea on why he came searching for my house...I can assure you that He's a decent fellow and won't do any bad things........But why????

                           Still that insane fellow didn't leave me alone...Now, my friends were very much in support of him..They wanted me to fall in love with him..Honestly, I didn't feel any love for him

                            Here is the part ,I hate the most....My sweet but insane friends started pairing us up...Started forcing me to talk with him...Ohh Yaaaa!!! I forgot to say....I never used to talk with him after I knew that he was in love with me...That disturbed my friends a lot...I admit I was wrong in ignoring him...Sorry :(  My friends were right but back then, I was too stubborn to change my decision upon anyone's advice..I did what I felt right and never swayed upon the criticisms of the world..It sometimes went wrong or better to say , it went wrong here....

                                Oh !! I again went beating the bush right??...okay let's get back to the topic...My friends suceeded to some extent..Maybe due to the excessive push from their side, Its true that I felt some kind of possessiveness for him...I still don't know if its a crush or something..You tell me because I'm still  doubtful...I feel possessive about him but deep down I don't feel anything ....So I resisted..Now they started feeling that I was in falling for him...I tried to tell them., "Noooooo"....but they won't understand......


                                Now, my friends started teasing me with his name and my school life turned out to be a disaster...I admit I am possessive about him but deep down I don't have any feelings for him...Now, that my close friends don't trust my words, I hated my school...So In 2009, as soon as mom got transfer , I took the opportunity to leave my school..Thats how I left My Best School............:(

                                 I don't know if you have already guessed it..I am nuts because I had so much true friends there, but I DIDN"T realise their value...DAMNED ME....!!!...I never got such an awesome school and friends after that....Anyway, last year, something happened...


                                  Remember, my friend Sru, from the last blog??? Well, Our Mr.R texted with me disguising himself as Sru...Sru's mobile was not in working condition, then...He had got my number from Sru's phone and messaged with me, saying that this was sru's(technically, his) new number...Finally,he revealed his identity after 2 months...He apologised for doing that....Ringed me up several times to apologise...I didn't attend any of his calls neither did I message him back...Finally This was his, (for the mean time), last message..."I am sorry ..Please forgive...and I am not in love with you...It was a foolishness from my part...I'm sorry..I won't disturb you any longer...Now please reply to this message atleast.......bye...study well"

                                  Honestly, that message did sting. I felt a lump in my heart...But I replied to him, "Well, you just saved your head from crushing by a train...Good boy...Bye Mr.R...Study Well u Too...Take care "... He replied,"Crazy reply...Yaa I'll bye"....................and then No Contacts....Until


                                   I went for the school reunion on September 7th...One of his friends Mr.G and Palli picked me up from the railway station....Honestly, I wished I could see him...Just see him....On the way to school, Mr.G said to Palli,"Do you think Mr.R would come?? He said yesturday that he wouldn't because he was having a leg pain.." I don't know if Mr.G broached that subject purposefully..I tried to put on a casual face though my mind prayed hard.."God!!!!! Please Let Him Be Here..I Want To See Him...Otherwise, This Whole Journey is a Waste....".......


                                   Guys, why he holds such a position in my heart..Maybe because I felt he truly loved me....Aaaaaahhhh! I don't know...I entered the school, and as I turned the corridor, I saw him looking at me from a distance...Now, that eyes spoke of love , I was sure....I looked away but he kept on looking ...Then, he went into some class...I saw some of my old pals...It was a good day...I'll blog about it later...okay??...Hmm..then, we entered into the class where he was sitting...Just then, Sru and Nayana, took photos with him but not with any other guys...I smiled but Inside of me, was filled with a sudden upsurge of possessiveness, anger.....I don't know how that came........I am doubtful whether they did it on purpose even.......For the first time, after 6 years , we talked...He said, "Hai." and we conversation began..I apologised to him for the olden silent days...I was amazed that he didn't hold any grudge towards me ....
..He sounded like a very good friend but not anything else..................................

                                  When that day came to an end, I was thinking ,"God!!! I'm soo possessive of him...Why is that sooo???.....Will I be Able to adjust when he finds another girlfriend.....Such a Stupid Thought........"............I went back home.....Cried a lot about that old awesome days........


                                    I don't feel anything for him...I know one thing and that is "He Is Not the One......I don't want him to be my Husband"............I don't feel anything special like, He's glamorous or attractive or anything........but I love to glance through his facebook profile ,each time I login (Well, Thats my hobby now...)..............


                                     One news is left,....."he has been and is still in love with me.."...Can you imagine??...Even after being so cruel and even after so many years.... A friend of mine said that to me...He's planning to propose me......My friends are busy for that occasion...(Psst...they don't know that I have learned it okay??....Its their big secret...Unfortunately , I know it...hahaha)....

I can't accept him as my boyfriend......I don't know why........
I have told you , my entire feelings...Now you say , why....Okay???.....
By the way , Sorry for making you nuts...with my crazy thoughts.......

No comments:

Post a Comment