I am watching Grey's Anatomy now... When the show began, the narrative said, "psychologists have agreed on the fact that a persons' relationship with other people in this world is similar to their behaviour towards their parents.....".. This was something that I wondered for long... Whether a person's love life will be similar to his relationship with his parents... ??.. My doubts are cleared, Unfortunately......
I will get to that later.... Should I be sad if I come to know that I'm a irresponsible, selfish person? Or should I ignore it and move on with my life? Or should I try to change? What if I fail on changing my characters? Should I feel desperate and blame everyone, including God, for creating me, like I do now?... Oh yeah! I do it all the time now,...I feel desperate.. So, I lie in the bed and imagine what kind of bad things might happen to me and cry about it, non-stop... Its lame lame and lame......Still thats what I do....
I'm jealous of my mom and often feel that she deserved a better child than me.. She should have had a child like her, Confident. Hardworking. Responsible. Determined. Pious. Benevolent. Sacrificing. But I'm the opposite of all this.. So, I'm jealous of her all the time right from my childhhood... Right from the time when people started comparing me with her..And now I know what you are thinking.. What is this pathetic gal talking about?Look, I'm just saying this.. I'm jealous of my mom and that makes me angry.. It makes me angry when I look at my ambitions.. It makes me sad when I realise that I'm not like my mom who would have worked miracles if she were in my shoes.. She would have touched the skies of fame by now.. But I'm sitting here and writing about this stupid failure notes...Thats the difference between us, me and my mom....
And these thoughts makes our relationship bad... My egos get hurt easily whenever she chides me..... I get annoyed with her easily... I snap at her often making everything between us impossible.. But, like I said, she is a very good person, and so, she tolerates me.... She tolerates everything but I make it impossible...
Now putting everything in order... Psychologists say that childrens' relationship with parents will be similar to their love life... Applying that rule in my life, I certainly see where all this is going... Its simple... I'm going to be an impossible wife too.... I feel sad for my future husband... What wrong did he do , God...? Why did you choose me as his Eve..? Its sad to hear that I'm going to never change(or atleast it looks like so...).. And I'm jealous of my mom because I wanted to be like her... Tolerant, Sacrificing, Hardworking.......She is the perfect daughter and the perfect wife, and me, probably , the worst one...............
I will get to that later.... Should I be sad if I come to know that I'm a irresponsible, selfish person? Or should I ignore it and move on with my life? Or should I try to change? What if I fail on changing my characters? Should I feel desperate and blame everyone, including God, for creating me, like I do now?... Oh yeah! I do it all the time now,...I feel desperate.. So, I lie in the bed and imagine what kind of bad things might happen to me and cry about it, non-stop... Its lame lame and lame......Still thats what I do....
I'm jealous of my mom and often feel that she deserved a better child than me.. She should have had a child like her, Confident. Hardworking. Responsible. Determined. Pious. Benevolent. Sacrificing. But I'm the opposite of all this.. So, I'm jealous of her all the time right from my childhhood... Right from the time when people started comparing me with her..And now I know what you are thinking.. What is this pathetic gal talking about?Look, I'm just saying this.. I'm jealous of my mom and that makes me angry.. It makes me angry when I look at my ambitions.. It makes me sad when I realise that I'm not like my mom who would have worked miracles if she were in my shoes.. She would have touched the skies of fame by now.. But I'm sitting here and writing about this stupid failure notes...Thats the difference between us, me and my mom....
And these thoughts makes our relationship bad... My egos get hurt easily whenever she chides me..... I get annoyed with her easily... I snap at her often making everything between us impossible.. But, like I said, she is a very good person, and so, she tolerates me.... She tolerates everything but I make it impossible...
Now putting everything in order... Psychologists say that childrens' relationship with parents will be similar to their love life... Applying that rule in my life, I certainly see where all this is going... Its simple... I'm going to be an impossible wife too.... I feel sad for my future husband... What wrong did he do , God...? Why did you choose me as his Eve..? Its sad to hear that I'm going to never change(or atleast it looks like so...).. And I'm jealous of my mom because I wanted to be like her... Tolerant, Sacrificing, Hardworking.......She is the perfect daughter and the perfect wife, and me, probably , the worst one...............
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