The Mirage He Created

People whom you consider so good were not so after a while. I thought my crush was perfect. That was the biggest lie in the world. In the end, it is a crush and everybody's crush ought to be perfect.

First, I thought he had feelings for me. Then, I heard he was in a relationship. So, I thought that that relationship is almost over. Hence, he stared at me from the other end of the room. Secondly, I heard that he made out with another girl. That girl - one among the most flirtiest girls in my batch - had been eyeing him for long. Maybe, he was misunderstood. Or maybe, he let the guard down at last just for the last time. Maybe, his girlfriend broke up and he was yearning for some empathy.

But, now I hear, he was caught making out twice.
Then, I believed no one else except my mind which spoke, "he is clearly uninterested."

That is sad but I moved out of the Mirage he created.

Tribute to my friends

I wonder...
What would I have been
Without you...

Without the eight of you,
whom I named as my 'friends'.
What would I have been
in this college...Without you...

A smoked up pot?
steaming pressure cooker?
screaming milk cooker -
in a deaf kitchen world?

Or some marinated chicken,
in a dressed up table,
suited-up to the master's tastes,
in the pretentious dining table?

But now that I have met you,
 now that I have met you,
I am nothing as above...

But, the wildest tastes of,
some incredibly terrible cook,
innovating myself in every-
stir of life. And saute'd in some
exquisite spices of fate.

Parents should be Plural

You know how important is to have that ‘s’ in the word – ‘parents.’ It should be plural however useless it would be. However, torturing they might get. For, when you miss that ‘s’ life gets incomplete. And much worse is when you have missed that ‘s’ due to a divorce and you are raised up by a single mother.

It’s not a fun life when your mother has to gulp in  her anti-depressants to keep her mental stability to raise you up. It’s definitely not fun seeing her shuttle between kitchen, office, grocery shop, bank and all the other places alone and rushing back by late night. But, she is scared however brave she may sound. She is scared about her child being alone in the rented house. But, what can she do? Hire a babysitter? Well, you guys do it. The ‘parents’ with a‘s’ in the end. You can expect to get some remnants after all the expenditures at home. But, we got nothing. After eating, working and paying all the rents, there is nothing left.

And it is definitely not a fun life when Christmases go un-celebrated. Celebrations are fun when you have a family to gather. Or where you have hope that there is somebody waiting for you or somebody to send you the wishes. It’s not fun when you are alone with no job or salary and your phone remaining silent. Celebrations are meant for people with people. Where there are parents and children and in the end, a family to gather. For others, it just gives more reasons to pop in the anti-depressants.

Hence, you would start philosophical about festivals. Why are these festivals for? Why cutting cakes is a big ceremony for these days although it can made and eaten all the year?  And there you go. Socrates has been beaten up.

And then, when you recite your personal pains to the only person who is atleast patient to listen – the priest behind the confession screen – he gave me one advice. Look up to Jesus Christ. He was born as a man to suffer and deliver man from his pains. But I say, what does this Jesus Christ know? He also had ‘parents’ – a Mary and Joseph. I don’t think he and me belongs to the same page.

Love and its Bizarre Endings...

I thought love always ends in either of the following ways. Your partner says a goodbye to you for a better fortuner-hubby. End of all timepass relationships there. Then, the second option is where the heart breaks into pieces by a death. Some deaths are natural and the others are artificial because it is man-made or in other words, family-made. Yeah! They get you chopped in the name of honour. And in this category, many Indian families might be owning patent rights. The third one is plotted by life, I say. It’s the fate that carries you away. Love in the wind got blown away overtime.

But, now that I have encounter my first crush afterall, I understood a different rather bizarre conclusion for love. Now, let me warn you that you don’t get to see this kind of ending in movies as the directors value the producer’s money. Rather, you see in flop blogs like mine.

Well, after 6 months of stalking, and eye-to-eye chatterings, you realize that the crush is in a long-distance relationship. A slap on the face. That’s what I got. But, like how Shah Rukh Khan’s dialogue in Ohm Shanti Ohm – Film abhi bhi baki hein meri dosth… (or something like that)

The story has took a new turn now in my life. 6 months I wasted by stalking him. Now, consciously or unconsciously, I have taken to stalking his relationship status. How long will my research take? Well, I can’t predict, scientists. It’s a complicated one. Damnit. I should have got a fellowship for this.

Aimless...

When you are depressed for no reason? Even after having a cup of tea. Or after facebooking. After fidgeting ailessly through hostel corridors. Even after blinding your ears with rock bands. Thats when I thought I would start writing again. Man! I could feel it right now - how the chain is falling off the edges of each joint of my body. A lot of tears waiting to fall. And a slowly a smile appearing in this foggy spring evenings. But the reason for all this? I don't know.

Pathetic excuses. Regardless, life has hit the ripe 21st age for me. And is it the age or something else, I don't know. Many new experiences to blog about has resurfaced in my life beginning with my first crush to the induction cooker that I bought yesterday. Life is changing... Sure that.

The Island Trip

As I described in my last post 'Unbudgetful Friends', I was persuaded by my friends to come for the trip to a small river Island near my college. There was a small temple in this Island, it seems. I was worried about the money that I was splurging on Autos, Boats etc:. Yet, the photos proved it worth. I crossed the Mahanadi to see this Island. The temple in the middle of the Island had undergone too much of commercialisation. It made me realise that God was purely put for Sale in this 21st century. For instance, a priest stood on the pathway to put the sandal paste on your forehead. But, after putting it he stretches his palmes to you. "Money Money Money", you know. But, no I didn't enjoy the trip. Like I said, "Money Money Money." Much depends on Money.

wE cRossEd tHis TINY bRiDGe to
reach the place where the boats stood.
My FrIeNdS' Photoshoots.

The Boat in which we crossed the Mahanadi to reach the Island

On the opposite side of the Island, there was a hanging
Bridge too for the devotees to cross the River.

After the roaming around the Temple, we reached
the banks of Mahandi. Waiting for the Boat, Now.

At a distance, you can see the mainland or my next destination.

As we waited for our boat to come, I clicked this random pic.

Meanwhile, my friends were busy in their Photoshoots.

                                   

Finally, Good Bye Island....

Hot Winters

Its cold outside....The January Winter in Cuttack, Odisha.....One such foggy mornings from my room.....Hot..Isn't????

Through the Grills of my window.....

Atleast the etching on my window is visible....Thank God